Loco Weed
Land War 1861-1865
Copperhead Strike Gargantua Harbor
Let him turn and flee!
VonHot20 Camp Schatzenputz 1910
I suppose that’s only fair was all he said as far as her complaint went. As far as a few others along the river, he had restitution to be made to them as well… which he neglected to bring up at the moment. I’ve heard others have actually shot at you. I’ve heard that also. Henry. She was almost exasperated. Well, is it true. Ja. Und so. And so? You could have been killed dummkopf! I am shot at all the time. And stabbed at. And screamed at. The whole world is a lousy shot. Lucky fur much.
Why are you telling us this story. Again. The Buoys in the harbor are ringing politely by daybreak. Chaska is a big chief Indian lawyer. Thabo some kind of retired union boss on the railroad with property to manage in Cincinnati, Louisville, and such. Same reason you come to my party ye swarthy goddam pikers. VonHot20 Camp Schatzenputz We do what we do best: escape and evasion. Humbug. We come for fun and profit. And there is always trouble. No trouble. Risk. The kids here are wise beyond their ears. We learn from them.
Chains and slavery!
Henry played with his fast boats on the river. More than once his antics caused minor flood damage to area businesses, farms and riverboats. Daisy’s was one of them. She justified his reckless behavior by thinking it was part of the male aging process. The taking on of water in the newly refurbished gambling salon of Tu Vas a’ St. Louis pissed her off, but it was his gift to her to begin with. New carpet was ordered and Daisy strolled the riverbanks. On one of her strolls, Henry approached. He invited her to accompany him to a park bench with a river view.
Its luck of the draw my treasure. Natural law. Those are the odds. The evens we make for ourselves. Getting even. Our XI Corps boys had a score to settle with Gordon’s boys. No rancor intended. They just wanted to see who the better killer was. And now there is a rancor in their hearts of which the German boys little dream. But they will one day… to the horror of the entire world. We are positioned between Nazis and Bolsheviks… words we are inventing just now. Water panther. Flying serpent. These are signs from long ago.
See the front o’ battle lour;
Her carriage driver loved to see her in action like this and fabricated his usual look of anxious worry in order to give credence to her act. And with this, she turned on her heel and exited the filthy little storefront. The driver stood for a few seconds and shook his head in sympathy for Tom Morgan, in the effort toward leading him to believe he had insulted the wrong woman. There would be repercussions, the drivers face was showing. The line is drawn- the curse it is cast. Who is keeping score. Even four score and seven. Ballpark chatter when the ball is in play.
Time after time
Speed Canon
Ecclesiastes 9:11
what prophet a man
Like an actor rehearsing his role by night.
At intervals one hears Time’s eyelashes flutter.
Pullman brand boxcar office: undisclosed location; N&S line, 189?
The boys were nearly forty when the war ended… and that was twenty years ago. The Buoys named themselves one night off Savannah when the Dart brushed a marker buoy with a clang against her thin steel hull. It was a mine… torpedo they called it in those days- heard the hammer snap on the cap. Saw the spark in the dark. It was a dud. They had been at the edge of the war together most of those years on the prairie and in the wilderness on the rivers- until they took to the sea as Pirate viam Domini… so to speak.
Now Henry was obsessed with automobiles. Chaska say he want race horses. Now he races horses with German centipede wheels. Henry look up from chart desk. Remember Northfield Insurance. Our design is similar. But smaller- lighter- faster… and electric. Thabo screed Glenlivet bottle. Funk. I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Only the river rehearses its spectral role:
To be or not to be …
When they bet it will not arrive on time- we deliver in kind. When they must have it just in time- we stop it. Time and chance. The Buoys calculated carefully with the help of a few Scott and German mathematicians who know nothing about each other. Chaska could read the signs. Thabo could cipher. Henry knew people in high places. Hell of a goddam note send a mole aloft to the crows nest. Thorn she blows is a go dam Fuck Crock Creek. Now look. Nobody sees our road machine. And nobody ever will. They will say it was a mad cow. Or a black swan. That was then.
Is it now won ti si kcilc click funk gurgle rattle. gone
-30-
Ice on the River
Hoity Toity Load
Ore and iron too
So they climbed and they dug and they blew
Divided me right in two — Hungry Planet
Down bound for New Orleans; Least Heat Moon, 1877
The VonHot & Co. had launched at least a hundred fast packet boats before and during the course of the war. Nearly all were steam-driven and most were made of wood. At least a dozen iron, and two were steel. Henry used the Baron’s name Von Hesse freely when he arrived in Philadelphia in 1850- not yet 20 years old and fresh from the Revolutions of ‘48. With letters- introductions from years of study at Edinburgh and $100,000 in gold Dutch guilders, Heinrich Von Hesse bought a machine shop, a boatyard, a fine gun store and a run-down theatre in Harrisburg.
Each boat became an enterprise of its own… sprouting taverns, hotels, bars and brothels along the river. At least a dozen such enterprises were destroyed in the war. Maybe more. But Henry was lucky enough to leave the boatyard in good hands when he went west to sell fine Hawken rifles to the buffalo hunters who fed the mad white diggers after gold. Henry came back mad as a march hare silent like a hoot owl with an Indian and an African- just in time for the war. Civil War- they called it- and everybody got the joke. Now Tom soldiered with the colored troops for a time. Not at all civil.
Capitalist growth and profitability depend as much on destruction of wealth as on production of it. While salvaging the value contained in a discarded but perfectly usable desk is rational from an environmental and social point of view, it is irrational and not useful for the furniture industry, which must produce and sell more and more desks in order to thrive. Ultimately, the environmental crisis, of which garbage is just a subset, is inseparable from the logic of our whole economic system. Hm say Chaska. Eldest son of Dancing Bear. Give me over to Aye Hoot mon.
Orbiting in the sky
The things they did to hurt me
Pass on by and by
Give over has the power to forge company even where divisions exist. Plenty likely you will also receive hemp when you need it. It sound like squirrel , but there will be times when you reap what you sow. Leading like pony — inspiring far more people than you may ever realize. Hunting trumpets out Scotsman bum squeeze terror bag creel. Insects are also affected. One study nocturnal insects. Die each summer as a result of gas lights luring the farm boys. Usually reliant on moon for orientation become distracted by bright street vamp. Fly around them all night.
Blew warm the winds of May,
Make them easy prey for preachers, interfere with their reproduction, or kill them outright. Several recent studies have showed that plants growing near streetlights are pollinated significantly less often at night and produce less fruit than when the same plants grow elsewhere in the dark. Even trees feel the impact of light at night — they produce buds earlier and their leaves fall later. The boats are all gone now. Except this one. They say Von-hot-yo. Or Von-hot-oy. What would hide Jew do but Lowe ice machines? Ice cream. I would say we have ice on the river- and rails.
Chaska Standing Bear was a gift. Now Tom Thabo is a purchase. Henry needed help. If they could keep him out of trouble- he might make them all rich. But tonight they are card dealers aboard the Daisy Belle. They were not polished as the usual croupier but they will manage. The show is about to begin. The Witch of Wenham– composed and performed by some of the best in New York and beyond. And J.P Morgan has chartered the trip. The boss knows how a crash a party. If not metamorphosis… what good is a Meta for?
The early birds at will
Waked up the violet in its dell,
The wind-flower on its hill.
For cold lager beer. For the best beef, cuisine and confection in the least amount of time. For those who have the time- also have most of the money. But not for long. The theatre has been our best investment so far. The compromise of 1877 is an unwritten deal, informally arranged. Reconstruction is over. And now comes the rail strike- when the iron is hot. VonHot01. Always get their boy. Look at this issue of The Atlantic. Does Green Leaf have more wit? Aye we took that place by storm. That is life in the city. Now watch how our girls perform.
Produce buds earlier. Leaves fall later. Will they stick to the Union.
Eye saw what I saw.
Prep Area… back in the RAW
And sometimes I wonder if they was, the awful things I done.
VonHot10 car: A&C line; upbound, Cincinnati. 1876
It’s not always clear what the average person is after when seeking life guidance from philosophers, but it tends to be a mix of three things. First, some general orientation in the universe; second, a serving of existential consolation for when life fucks us over; and, more rarely, a dose of specific practical advice ( to jump or not ) right now. A truthful philosophy will be unspectacular and inaccessible to the average person as it proceeds. And if philosophy does eventually generate good life advice, there’s no guarantee it’ll deliver comfort along with it. Truth can be a bitch. Really and whatever (RAW).
The eastern ride back across the continent was not as exciting as it was going west. Daisy had no way to correspond with Eliza. It had become national news that Eliza’s employer had met an unfortunate end along with 260 of his men. Flamboyance, arrogance and bravery were indeed a deadly mix. Daisy had never thought much about the Union officers prior to meeting Eliza. What a picture of life in the northern states was put before Daisy. She thought constantly about Eliza’s description of Autie and Libbie and how they treated her.
Thabo make cheap taste good Chaska note with a belch. Shonuff yazzahboss. Where de Friar Fuck anyhow. He never late for chow. Hah. Fryer Henny penny-buck fly off train. Doubt that. We cooking in Ludlow. By noon this place be packed and we be aboard our Dixie Belle by the bow… or whatever he calling her now. Mississippi Queen. Know wad eye mean. She taught me everything. Went down around Vicksburg. Around Louisiana way. Door bang open. Ye swarthy goddam pikers bark the bearded lady.
Lying there by his lonesome self, and I figured it must be Bill.
It was then that a speeding current of some sort ripped through the middle of the brown water causing surf, not simply wake, disturbing each moored boat, raft and barge along each bank. The surf encroached the agricultural fields to the very edge of flood mark that the farmers relied upon during seasonal deluge. There was fist shaking and anger everywhere one looked along that stretch of river. Once it had been determined to be a man-made occurrence rather than some type of act of God, men began to congregate to action, expounding of the Law…
I often think of poor old Bill — and how hard he was to saw.
Vermin Supreme
Who Hearst bumble payer
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
9/11 terror attacks reverberate as US marks 21st anniversary
By JENNIFER PELTZ, KAREN MATTHEWS and JULIE WALKER 9 minutes ago
NEW YORK (AP) — Americans remembered 9/11 on Sunday with tear-choked tributes and pleas to “never forget,” 21 years after the deadliest terror attack on U.S. soil.
Forget what. Our 9 minute attention span is over. After 21 years- it’s now Mother Goose in Candyland. 911 was an inside job. It was planned and executed like any event designed to promote asymmetric psychological warfare: psychological operation- PSYOP. Entire organizations can be conspiracy complicit without most of its members knowing what is going on. The deadliest terror attack on U.S. soil has been dusted on our brains like DDT since the Silent Spring of the 1950s and tail gunner Joe. What has? Inside job.
What happens when the most detestable incompetent fuck to ever run a candy machine… let alone a fucking country- says something that might be true? Like fuck your feelings. Like political correctness. Like deep state endless wars. Like inside job. The GWOT (global war on terror) is a fucking lie and you know it. If you don’t: see other side. Reload your browser. If the problem persists, contact customer service for assistance. You’ll believe anything. The rest of us know the official story (also a conspiracy theory) is bullshit. Now what.
The planet is cooking. Oceans are dying. Makes one feel hurt and confused and guess what. Doomsday Glacier doesn’t give a shit. That’s right. Fuck your feelings. The dying species and the pandemic and tropospheric moisture and Vice Kamala the Klown Kop of Kolor will fuck your feelings til the cows go mad. The party is over. Pick up a clue and learn about the Green New Deal… because it is happening now- one way or another. And fuck Trump- just another tool in the bag of hammers. Like tear-choked tributes and assholes. Everybody has one.
Lyings and triggers and bares. Oh my.
Carceral Cream of Wheat
Paul the Apostle
And death shall have no dominion.
Saint Regis Hotel; Full Corn Moon, 1892
It opened in the summer of 1859. Apollo was an excellent host, a charming story teller with a quick wit, and he was known for treating everyone as equals. He was also a shrewd businessman, and his wife, Lydia, whom he had married in 1859, excelled at managing the entire operation. It was a good place to go during the war. You meet some good lads and not discuss all that boom and bang shit. Unless we are hunting of course. The girls were always welcome but they would hate the place. You know how they are.
In 1848- same year as our revolution- he rented a house on Loon Lake which he ran as a small hotel for loggers and hunters, aided by his mother and father. In 1852, Smith bought 200 acres near Loon Lake on the North Branch of the Saranac River for $300. Here he built Hunter’s Home, a primitive hotel with one large living room and kitchen, and ten small sleeping quarters; the bar was self-service—a barrel of whiskey with a dipper in a corner of the living room. It was popular from the start with the doctors, lawyers and other professional men from eastern cities. Apollo gave me a job. But I was a guest before I went west.
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Big Indian dismounted the bar stool to build a fire on the billiard table. Gathering leaves and herbs and pinch powders and such. Henry has trouble watching Chaska process and the boys along the bar at the same time. Now Tom is away at Homestead PA. Think about it boys and the Walker revolver is now a Colt Peacemaker. Listen. See? A lot smoother with brass cartridges and smokeless powder don’t Cha THINK and Chaska did so while hunting for a match. Plenty big shit storm and black Thabby still got fight for your Union. Ghost Dance. Overhead. Everybody’s business.
Phoebe had not been allowed to visit for over a week, but was in such a state at seeing her old friend being carried off the SF&O train as it had stationed in Oakland that she had asked her husband to find lodging for them on the other side of the bay near the ferry docks. Their primary residence was too remote for her under the circumstances, and George’s preferred lodgings in town were invasive of Phoebe’s privacy and had a men’s club atmosphere that rendered her uncomfortable for any period of time.
On the first day that Daisy had been able to focus upon a face of the ghostly caregiver of her person, she squinted her eyes against the light surrounding her. One of the ropes had brushed against her arm as the figure with the lump on its head pulled on a sheet and also came into focus through Daisy’s squinted lids. Daisy smelled lavender through the alcohol and was roused further as she stared into familiar eyes. The lump was a loosely secured hair bun, the ropes were locks of aimlessly wandering hair strands. Recognition overwhelmed her and Daisy began to cry, asking for her hair pins. A nun, all in white, the ghostly figure, went for further assistance in a rush.
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
For all the mercy in heaven, please, somebody, get me her hair pins Phoebe whispered. T’is all she speaks of when awake. That and that riverboat that I can do nothing about. But I CAN try to find those hat pins. Daisy tried to lift her arms for an embrace with her friend. The arms were leaden. Conversation and human contact pending, they weakly smiled at each other while trying to each work out their next move toward the other. Phoebe lifted the sheet at the end of the bed and gently squeezed Daisy’s toes.Your feet are cold. Look, I have a newly knit pair of socks in my bag.
We cook your porridge. We guard your cigar stores while you sleep. Do not fuck with us. You my friend Amidon come with me. Yes you. I will give you ten thousand dollars in gold for that folio you carry. Don’t try to hide it goddam you. Drop them pants… clank… and waddle over here. Gentlemen, let us say nothing of this lest we harm Don Pablo’s fine reputation. I know he would not approve of my behavior. But he is at Franklin Falls with our electric boats. The gentlemen said nothing. Dilger say the Dutchman pay is fair (not good). He should know.
Daisy’s most audible groan was heard on the next floors of the hospital, above and below.
( and Beth II shall have no opinion )
Tontines
Ship of Ghouls
The stripling soldiers passed her door,
Wounded perchance, or wan and pale…
Northfield Minnesota, 1876
Tontines enable believers to share the risk of living a long life by combining features of a group annuity with a kind of mortality lottery. The system works because it has removes all risk, and the population of invalids, abnormals, and monsters demonstrates that the system works. It is flawless, antiseptic, objective, and removed from the stain of human unpredictability from start to finish. It works out the insulation equation: earn enough money to insulate from reality created by earning money. Justification for striving to be so successful that they could simply leave the peasants behind – as externalities.
Northfield in 1876 is a growing Southern Minnesota community. By this time the town had two colleges and saw the completion of a railroad through town. The town also had many prominent business leaders and a healthy bank. It was the bank that drew the attention of America’s most notorious bank and train robbers: the James-Younger Gang. Acting cashier Joseph Lee Heywood was shot and killed because he refused to open the bank vault and betray the trust of the bank trustees. Acting or not- the fucker is still dead. Convincing. Risk of living long life say Chaska the Indian. Risk not gift. African Thabo say this a cold-ass place.
Duly the wayside table spread,
With evergreens shaded, to regale
Each travel-spent and grateful one.
Eyes on the prize me lads say the white man. Chaska no trust trustees buy for cheap sell out quick. Stink mucho plenty. Henry thought of Sheridan and his brutal horsemen who would shoot your wife and rape your dog. After the failure of his salt business in Saginaw, Alecia owner Flagler returns to Bellevue in 1866 and reentered the grain business as a commission merchant with the Harkness Grain Company. There is John D. Rockefeller, who is working as a commission agent with Hewitt and Tuttle for the Harkness Grain Company. Alchemists.
Mrs. Lacroix watches the actors: Astors and Vanderbilts while the Buoys stage decoys in Northfield.
Lowe and Behold
A Capital Idea
We are coming Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more!
Palmer House Hotel: Chicago, USA 1876
It war right before Bull Run in 1861 Lowe met President Lincoln and offered to perform a demonstration with a telegraph set from a height some 500 feet above the White House. Lowe’s telegraph message read: I have the pleasure of sending you this first dispatch ever telegraphed from an aerial station… Lowe had been paid as a colonel ($10 gold per day), but in March 1863, some Captain Bumblefuck was put in and cut Lowe’s pay to $6 cash ($3 gold). Took less than two years to screw that pooch. A private soldier was paid about $12 a month. Usually in some shit scrip. Sergeant major- $21. Second lieutenant- about $100. See what happens. Double and more. Get the idea. Double soldiers.
Lowe was not interested in money- just needed it for tools. Lowe made a new home in Norristown, Pennsylvania where he continued with his scientific endeavors with hydrogen gas. His inventions and patents on this process and ice making machines made him a millionaire. And that’s about the time he met Henry again- who was interested in cold lager beer… for his railroad restaurants. The riverboats are going the way of flintlocks. During their Civil War days, Lowe had met Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, who was at the time acting as a military observer of the war. Costumes and all.
We are coming, Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more!
General McClellan verboten all balloon ride-alongs, so Lowe sent von Zeppelin to Poolesville to visit a German assistant aeronaut who could entertain him in his own language. Von Zeppelin returned in the 1870s to interview Lowe on all of his aeronautic techniques. Count von Zeppelin later designed the dirigible aircraft that bore his name. Not Lowe’s name- of course. Thaddaeus could have not cared less. He move to California say Chaska. Ja und build a fucking palace in Pasadena mit ice-making plants. He probably gonna get a bank-ass too. Thabo drum. When that Glen Liveit coming.
Soon enough you swarthy fuckers. Three hundred large. She is on Lake Michigan now- owned by a captain of industry (staying here). Built like the Dart– only smaller… faster. Henry my man you playing that humbug tune. Ugh. Pipe out ass like Scotsman. Fiddle-dee-dee you fuckers. We go ashore and make them an offer. Plenty time for that. This time names and faces. Listen to voices. The debt we pay to human guile. Otherwise we collect at resorts and private forts hidden all along the Great Lakes. She will need bigger engines. And our special war paint.
But let the world dream otherwise. We wear the mask!
Wampum Bear
Panther in the Sky
Which wild September gales have strown
With havoc on wreck, and dashed therewith
Pale crews unknown—
No. 10 Thousand Dollar Bill: Ohio River, 1876
Few indeed are any who have seen one… but they are legal tender. Fungible as mushrooms. Our old game during the war ja. Pay him for his cargo in paper he cannot use. Our letters of marque, the shit-scrip from the dragon that is about to crush them. They get dozens… hundreds… zillions of silly fuckers to run to their death bulbs the size of islands of ribbon and rank and a chance to be famous. Glory. In the papers. So that is why we carry them. Let us use them lads to see if anybody calls our bluff.
Wampum belts out a memory aid in oral tradition Chaska say. Sometimes badges of office or ceremonial devices. The 1820 New Monthly Magazine report on a speech given by Tecumseh in which he vehemently gesticulated to a belt as he pointed out treaties made 20 years earlier and battles fought since then. Official purposes and religious ceremonies- a way to bind peace between tribes. Among the Iroquois, every chief and every clan mother has a certain string of wampum that serves as their certificate of office. Chaska say it is a bribe. Thabo say it is an offer you cannot refuse.
He sought to blast us in his scorn,
And wither us in his ire.
When they pass on or are removed from their station, the string passes on too. A token of our highest steam say Henry. Runners carrying messages during colonial times present the wampum showing they had authority to carry the message. Like officers and shit. Or desperate privates. It is what the paper say it is. Chaska is a Chinaman, Thabo an African prince, and Heinrich a deposed baron from some fairytale kingdom in Germany. The Buoys had their papers in order aboard the Daisy Belle, enjoying some of the finest grub on the river. Dressed to kill. You better let um.
Process making wampum plenty labor-intensive with stone tools. Only coastal tribes had sufficient access to basic shells make wampum. Introduction of European metal tools revolutionized production of wampum… tens of millions of beads. Dutch colonists began mass-producing it in workshops. John Campbell established such a factory in Pascack, New Jersey, which manufactured wampum forever. Eventually the primary source of wampum manufactured by colonists, a market glutted by the Dutch. The wooden shoe fucks. You know them. Hats and spats.
Have laid the stone, and every bone
Shall rest in honor there.
Two lip mania. Girls from the show are here. Conversation turns to navel architecture where a flower bulb cost as much as a fucking trawler. In the same country for fuck sakes. Remember Fernando who could honor a card as well as anybody. Destructor he say. Dread naught methinks. Means fear nothing. Biggest tubes biggest boobs meh. Float in the flower bulb. We head for sweet home Chicago by rail. Turn sideways. Puff out our tail. Ride uncertainty like a fence rail. And now there is the machine. Shoes for the gears. Large denominations speak for themselves. Walls have ears. Great price. Big pearl.
waldopaper 
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